I had a nice blog post planned and written. It was artfully crafted, daring, full of truth bombs and realizing my inner strength.

But it was the wrong post.

Today is June 12, 2016. Today I am grieving. Today my heart is broken in pieces.

I thought I knew about pain and beauty. I thought I knew that they were two sides of the same coin. I thought I knew that they were twins, and that where there was one, there was always the other.

Today is a day full of pain. Today I am blinded to beauty.

I wish I could be on my mountain, up at the summit of Timpanogos. To me she isn’t a sleeping princess. She’s a watchful spirit, standing guard over her little corner of the world, where many of her children are drowning, losing their breath, losing their hope, for want of acceptance. For want of safety to simply be.

I wish I could be on my mountain, and see what she sees. This little valley, my home. To see it from where there is no noise. From where nothing is above, except the eagles. From where the truth is simple: this is home, this is family, this is my heart. From where there is no sound, except the wind. The wind, and a whisper—

Taylor Adams is from the little Utah town he refers to as “The Epicenter”—American Fork. He went on to study at Utah State University and Duke Law, served a Latter-day Saint mission in Washington, and has recently taken the California bar exam. Taylor’s interest in poetry and storytelling began when he was very young, but more recently his writings have focused on the idea of performance—meant to be shared aloud—and have wound their way into his performances as a drag queen under the stage name Brigitte Kiss.